Dr. Cliff on What a Shmuck and 7 Amazing Penis Facts

Um yeah, most of man’s sex related knowledge was not handed down to us from ancient scrolls miraculously rescued from the fire and burning of the Great Library of Alexandria, Egypt in 48 B.C.  Nor was it culled from the peer reviewed Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. Today, people get their sex facts online, from scholarly websites like “Frisky”, The Huffington Post and Oddee.com, all pretty much entertainment oriented news sites. No wonder we are falling so far behind in science and just about everything else. To wit, a recent article titled “7 Amazing Penis facts” or “7 Amazing Facts About the Penis” (no difference) purports to tell us all everything we need to know about man’s actual best friend. The article doesn’t waste time getting to the nitty gritty and after initially telling us useless knowledge about sperm motility and the speed of ejaculate (28 mpg) they move immediately to what every sexual consumer really wants to know….what mammal and weird guy in New York have the biggest one. Wait, back up. Somebody measured the speed of sperm coming out? How did they do that and with what kind of teeny tiny police laser gun? Do guys care or compete over who’s sperm is the “fastest”?  In my world, sex therapy, that isn’t always a good thing. Ok, I know you really want to hear about blue whales and their 8 foot self articulating penises and the shy, nerdy guy who comes closest to a whale in Homo Sapien form. I saw a documentary about him on cable TV. He doesn’t date all that much and wants to find a women who cares about his personality too……. Right, that’s not gonna happen now. Not after announcing he has a 13 inch penis to the world anyway. I would tell you as a liberated, free thinking man that I feel sorry for him….but I dont. If he wants to “hand over” his dubious crown and Guinness certified record to someone else, say myself, I might oblige him, at least on paper. Imagine his TSA pat-down at security when he travels through any airport……We told you, no leafblowers or containers bearing liquids over the specified size. What a shmuck!


About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s