Author Archives: captaincliff

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world

Election Update 2020: Insomnia Edition

ELECTION NEWS WARNING: While we wait with bated breath for final final for sure for sure election results and lest we experience the urge to indulge our collective bloodlust now almost four years in the making, let us remember this. … Continue reading

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My 2020 Presidential Election Confession

Forgive me Father WordPress for I have not been to confession for a very long time…. Morning thought: I dont want to be right about this but my bad vibe based on a combination of things over time (and even … Continue reading

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My Sad Starbucks Story

A tall sweet young man who worked at my favorite local Starbucks (Abernathy Square) was run over and killed by a drunk driver early this morning.  He was riding his bike on the way to work around 4 or 5 … Continue reading

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My Happy New Year/Hanukkah Prostate Miracle

Besides being the Jewish winter holiday meant to obscure the fact that Christmas is way more fun, Hanukkah (Festival of Lights) is the story of a 2000 year old military victory, a holy temple’s re-dedication and an unexplainable miracle of … Continue reading

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Hoarders Nightmare

Look I know it’s Thanksgiving but sometimes you just gotta say what’s on your mind. Dont you just hate it when people know you’re a hoarder and you try like hell to keep it on the “down low” but it … Continue reading

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The Family Dollar Store

Today I did something I’m a bit ashamed to admit. So, instead of quietly pondering my transgression I’ll just tell everyone in the entire universe on social media and on my impenetrable (to human understanding) WordPress blog. For some reason, out of … Continue reading

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The “Man Up” Restore Relationship Phone App…. Just for Men

  To the Dummies and the Haters: This is SATIRE bitches. I’m not serious. It’s not a real thing. It’s a satirical essay about MEN and how we are sometimes. Comprende? . If you happen to be a man who … Continue reading

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CaptCliff’s Restaurant Review of Din Tai Fung

How can I begin to describe an authentic Shanghai steamed dumpling that one does not (God forbid) gulp down or drown in store bought chili oil or plastic packets of “soy sauce” but instead allows to dance on one’s tongue … Continue reading

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Claire Mazer and the Talking Unicorn

  by Cliff Mazer, Ph.D., aka CaptCliff We live in what’s now called a quantum universe. While that means nothing to most people, to others it denotes something extremely complex and exciting ( typically folks with large brains who enjoy … Continue reading

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Bags of Balinese Dicks

      The Balinese people are a sweet, kind, artistically inclined populace. They paint, sculpt, carve wood, dance, and mass produce thousands of colorfully decorated penises for the tourist trade. Yes I said penises. I cant say I know … Continue reading

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