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Author Archives: captaincliff
My Sad Starbucks Story
A tall sweet young man who worked at my favorite local Starbucks (Abernathy Square) was run over and killed by a drunk driver early this morning. He was riding his bike on the way to work around 4 or 5 … Continue reading
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My Happy New Year/Hanukkah Prostate Miracle
Besides being the Jewish winter holiday meant to obscure the fact that Christmas is way more fun, Hanukkah (Festival of Lights) is the story of a 2000 year old military victory, a holy temple’s re-dedication and an unexplainable miracle of … Continue reading
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Hoarders Nightmare
Look I know it’s Thanksgiving but sometimes you just gotta say what’s on your mind. Dont you just hate it when people know you’re a hoarder and you try like hell to keep it on the “down low” but it … Continue reading
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The Family Dollar Store
Today I did something I’m a bit ashamed to admit. So, instead of quietly pondering my transgression I’ll just tell everyone in the entire universe on social media and on my impenetrable (to human understanding) WordPress blog. For some reason, out of … Continue reading
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The “Man Up” Restore Relationship Phone App…. Just for Men
To the Dummies and the Haters: This is SATIRE bitches. I’m not serious. It’s not a real thing. It’s a satirical essay about MEN and how we are sometimes. Comprende? . If you happen to be a man who … Continue reading
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CaptCliff’s Restaurant Review of Din Tai Fung
How can I begin to describe an authentic Shanghai steamed dumpling that one does not (God forbid) gulp down or drown in store bought chili oil or plastic packets of “soy sauce” but instead allows to dance on one’s tongue … Continue reading
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Claire Mazer and the Talking Unicorn
by Cliff Mazer, Ph.D., aka CaptCliff We live in what’s now called a quantum universe. While that means nothing to most people, to others it denotes something extremely complex and exciting ( typically folks with large brains who enjoy … Continue reading
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Bags of Balinese Dicks
The Balinese people are a sweet, kind, artistically inclined populace. They paint, sculpt, carve wood, dance, and mass produce thousands of colorfully decorated penises for the tourist trade. Yes I said penises. I cant say I know … Continue reading
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Out of the Ashes I Rise
Out of the ashes I rise. I am preparing for a two week trip to Bali on Saturday to meet a pen pal from Melbourne. Son #2 (Eli) has taken electric sheep shears (rented from the Tool Shed at … Continue reading
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Emess: The Unvarnished Truth
When I think about being REALLY honest (truthful) with myself and with others I think of the Yiddish word Emess. Two sources for the word emess come to mind: 1) my mother who would always say “It’s the Emess”, when … Continue reading
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