Dont get me wrong. I still like the high-tech Japanese Toto toilets with their thermostat controlled warm-up seats, remote sensors, multiple language commands and variable speed tushy wash/car wash-like features, but I’m beginning to feel pressured by their artificial intelligence enhanced demands. Maybe it’s me but I fear the advent of AI as it intersects directly with my private parts and bodily functions. Every time I walk in the bathroom or come out of the shower the Toto toilet immediately senses me and opens up its lid automatically as if to say, “how about urinating now?”, “Now?” “wanna pee RIGHT NOW?” What could be next in the technological toilet wars, ie. “Cliff, we sense you have an enlarged prostate. Our data analytics suggest that you Pee now to avoid public embarrassment”!?

It reminds me of being in South Beach/Miami and walking along the sidewalks on Ocean Drive in front of all the outdoor cafés and restaurants with their young Euro-hostesses emphatically asking  “Care to dine with us? “Wanna dine!??” “Care to see our extensive menu items?”  Yeah I know the Toto toilet also has extensive menu items and user options. Way too many for my digitally disabled ADHD brain, in fact. Honestly I had enough trouble recently trying to figure out the sleek new shower head with handheld diverter and temperature valve options at my friends Patti and Joel’s beautifully remodeled guest bathroom and then step out of the custom glass enclosure to have the Toto toilet accost me like a perky french hostess with “Care to dine, er I mean make wee wee monsieur ??”