CaptCliff on Newt the Narcissist

Gingrich update: Trust me on this one. Newt the Narcissist lacks the necessary focus or self discipline to run and win a Presidential election. He is smart and has a “purty” mouth capable of using alot of big words and clever sound bytes, but that is all. The rest is fluff and puff limited by his penchant for shiny objects, mean streaks and all you can eat buffet breakfasts. He is in love with himself and his wife who is…. creepy as hell. I’m not sure she is human given the bugged out eyes and helmet hair that doesnt move. Ok, maybe I’m jealous…of the hair. The recent New Yorker piece on Newt and Callista is frightening in its depiction of their strange attraction and codependence. He finally got what he wanted and well deserves, a younger woman with the mentality of a D.A.R. grandmother. She is the Wisconsin version of Betsy Ross with a french horn and real horns. Newt’s real momma had mental problems and his stepdad was like the weird colonel dude in American Beauty. I think Newt got twisted pretty early and does not have what they call a secure attachment style. He really needed someone to re-parent him while simultaneously servicing his psychosexual masochism. I believe the marriage will last this time, thanks to Viagra and Callista’s home schooling, however, his political ambitions are short lived. None of this matters much because he will bow out after slightly wounding Romney with  a few “I’ll get you for Iowa” barbs and assorted verbal Molotov cocktails. Callista will get what she wants, which is more jewelry and Newt back home to listen to her play piano, sing in the church choir and belt out a few Lawrence Welk hits on her french horn.


About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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