There is a reason you dont see the following headline on TMZ or your Facebook newsfeed: Baby Boomer Rocks Gray Beard and Extra Large T-Shirt at Starbucks!! Simply put, it ain’t news. Why then is it deemed significant enough of a story to let the whole world know when Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga or Snooki walk outside showing anything like a “baby bump” or midriff revealing blouse? Is mere celebrity reason enough to report anatomical details about someone usually reserved for ones proctologist,neurologist, or obstetrician? How would you like it if your last sonogram, colonoscopy exam or MRI (along with the dye stained brain images and photos of your rectum) were downloaded to the world wide web with the banner, “Everythings in the Pink Says CaptCliff’s M.D. and Shrink” ?
I know I wouldn’t exactly be “proud” of it, nor would I be clinking champagne glasses with friends at Spagos or Le Bernardin to celebrate the blessed event. Actually, I can’t really say what they do in LA or Beverly Hills. They are pretty weird out there. At least I know that in my hometown, Chicago they don’t have a big cork board at the entrance to Ditka’s or Gibsons Steakhouse for patrons to display the latest color slides of their endoscopy and upper GI series. Now that I think of it, maybe its not such a bad idea, especially at the aforementioned red meat emporiums, like Peter Lugers.
My original point, now lost in ADD-like tangential thinking, is that somebody needs to reign in the so called journalists who are making an oxymoron out of the term “newsworthy”. Personally I care to know that my colonoscopy results were clear and “pink as a baby’s tush” (Dr. LeVine’s quote, not mine) alot more then I care to know what Pink was wearing at Brentwood Mall last week. As for my shrink and his professional opinion, that’s none of your damn business!