Germany Outlaws Animal Brothels

Sex with animals is one of my “pet peeves”, so to speak. I’ve given my opinion on this before. It has nothing to do with morality, inter-species coupling or a condescending belief that the human race is “better” or more intelligent than say mollusks or baboons. It’s simply that oysters and orangutangs have no way to voice their verbal consent or sexual disapproval toward mankind. Even an emu has a right to say “no”.

Without such consent one does in fact have a clear case of “rape” (legitimate or illegitimate) not to mention some very weird Euro-people in need of a different hobby. It’s fine to have “furry sex” with other consenting humanoids dressed in unicorn and/or gorilla costumes, just not real silverback gorillas… altho I would love to see somebody try it.
Leave it up to the Germans, however. Things are getting so strange over there that they are having to outlaw “animal brothels” or as they like to call them “erotic zoos”. You always think I am kidding and I am not. Read it for yourself ( see link below).
Apparently a simple “petting zoo” does not suffice in Deutchland like it does at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. Too many Germans are taking the whole “petting” thing two or three steps or “bases” as we used to call it in 7th grade, farther and insist on going all the way with sheep, lambs, goats, llamas, donkeys and whatever creatures they can get their hands on or genitals into.
I’ve considered becoming a vegetarian for years but my great love of barbecue burgers and medium rare lamb chops always gets the better of me.  Weird News like this goes one further than even Mad Cow Disease in making me question my carnivore taste buds and where my food comes from.  Maybe I’m overreacting. I’ve heard of “farm to table” cuisine but “farm to bedroom” livestock is one bridge too far in mans so called sexual evolution. On the other hand, I’m sure there is a confused Conservative somewhere who is thinking, ” Well, maybe if they marry the horse or chicken or sheepdog and make sure it’s not an unnatural same sex union that would at least sanctify the relationship”.   I’m not sure who is crazier to tell you the truth. If you love your llama in a way that makes you feel like I’ve seriously offended you, feel free to write me back so we can discuss the issue (while I call the authorities).

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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