Newest Erectile Dysfunction Drug: It’s Stendra NOT Splenda

“Usal has called a big one! Again, it is the legend!”  Dune (1984)

Previously on this blog I mentioned the new fast-acting FDA approved
pill for erectile problems called Stendra. The good news is that it is the fastest
horse out of the barn in the pharmaceutical arms race to make a flaccid penis
into a nuclear powered human warhead (less then 15 minutes). There is also
new data to show that Stendra is longer acting, as in helping men to achieve and
maintain a lab assisted boner even longer than Viagra. When I say “longer” I dont mean greater length in any permanent sense of the word. When THAT pill is produced I will let you all know….after trying it first myself to make sure it doesnt have any negative “Inspector Gadget” type side effects. Of course when it comes to “duration”
Cialis is the “King of Cock” and gold standard of erectile medication, remaining
bio-active for a period of 36 hours depending on dosage. Longer acting
prescriptions for ED problems or SSRI related side-effects can mean less anxiety
and mental planning needed for a dinner date versus complicated NASA  love-making launch. With the freedom to be more spontaneous, couples and particularly male sex
partners can consider a broader number of mutually satisfying choices,  including sexual intercourse during or after ones Caesar Salad and without a sneaky trip to the restroom  to gulp down a large blue pill with a glass of tepid drinking water from the sink.

What used to be young men and women in the ’80s snorting long white
lines of coke together in Manhattan discos and toilet stalls are now
Baby Boomers with ED swallowing prescription meds and using their cupped hands
to scoop water like primordial apes out of motion-activated chrome faucets, a hit
or miss proposition in and of itself.  I hate those faucets. They never work for me and I end up dancing back and forth along the row waving and flapping my hands like a fool. Please dont ask me about the time I mistook my Ambien sleeping pill for a Viagra in a romantically lit (dark as a cave) Italian restaurant in San Francisco. Let’s just say sleeping giants do not impress the ladies, with or without serious garlic and anchovy breath…..

The advent of avantafil (Stendra) makes possible much more casual and last minute
decision making, something a guy with ADHD and commitment issues particularly appreciates. Also, given the soaring prices and minimal insurance coverage of many
of the pharmaceutical prescription treatments for erectile problems (ie., “What the hell?
$12 a pill!! I’d rather have two shots of tequila and take my damn chances, etc.), it even
makes monetary sense as well as gamblers logic to be more selective and “count ones cards” as far as sex is concerned. That or take Cialis and be a “Ready Teddy” 24/7 or at least 24/7 in 36 hour increments.

If I have to find a fault with Stendra, it’s in the name. I cant help but call it Splenda on a few occasions, which has caused unnecessary confusion for more then one client. One guy whose name shall remain completely confidential due to strict HIPPA regulations and a possible pending lawsuit was carrying multiple packets of Splenda around with him for two weeks and wondering why he continued to be impotent as well as suffering from a near fatal case of sucralose breath. When I say fatal I mean about to have his loving spouse kick his ass for believing in CaptCliff/Dr. Cliff’s inspired folk remedies and medicinal quackery. There are far better names to give a new sexual medicine, even the unusually fast acting kind, like “Quicksilver Messenger Service” or maybe “Humongo”. Just what the heck are those pharmaceutical marketing executive geniuses with corporate Blackberries paid for anyway?

Dune Clip:

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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