Typical of major news from Delaware: A 20 year old man without much of a visible neck has been arrested at a Walmart for flinging gobs of his semen at women shoppers he believed to be “hot”. Frank Short, height and IQ unknown was arrested after following a woman and tossing his man-fluid onto her thigh and completely clothed buttock. His parents were immediately contacted and warned they should either 1) hire a good lawyer or 2) go ahead and get it over with and die out of retched shame and embarrassment. Facebook photos of doing gravity bongs and keg stands in Florida do not compare with felony charges for sperm throwing in a Delaware Walmart, especially if you are thinking of applying to medical school or a career in law enforcement. The attorney fees will apparently not be used to help make bail for Mr. Short but instead utilized to find an expert witness in cultural anthropology familiar with peaceful and well adapted “shit and semen” throwing tribes or nation-states where such behavior is more commonly taken to mean, “Hey, what’s up?”