God and His Therapist


Psychiatrist with a patient who is hiding under the couch.

Psychiatrist with a patient who is hiding under the couch.

God is talking to his therapist. He says, “Sometimes I get so frustrated with my human children. They just dont get it!  I have told them over and over that if they want to survive and get along with each other then use the big brain I gave them! If I didn’t want human beings to have such a splendid brain that was made to evolve and grow and think and solve complex problems then I would have just made them cows or reptiles. Instead they focus on their ab muscles, collect Facebook likes, take selfies and argue about everything including me. They constantly fight and bicker among themselves and think they are each better than the other! What do you think I should do doctor?”  God’s therapist looks up from his notepad and says, “Just ignore them. They have to figure this out for themselves if they are ever to really grow up,”  God with a pained expression answers back, “I try to but I get so worried about them. What if they go crazy and kill themselves off?”  After a long pause the therapist says in a thick Yiddish accent, “A righteous man falls down seven times and gets up. They are learning to stand up on their own two feet. Some things you cant do for them. It’s just taking them a good bit longer than you might have expected. Gamzu l’tova . This too is for the good… because out of these missteps they will learn to step forward with care and remember that life is a great and precious balancing act.” God listened intently, nodded, and said, “That’s a good one. Did I say that?”  Knowing the session was over the therapist rose from his chair, looked God in the eye, smiled and said, “No, actually Dr. Seuss said it. See you next week.”


About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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