Clit Wit

Just came across this online article and had to respond below.

 The clitoris is the female sex organ that has one purpose and one purpose only…

PLEASURE!

tamano_pene_clitoris

Yet it’s the most overlooked female body part!

Did you know that 29% of college women are unable to locate the clitoris on an anatomy diagram?
(Compared to ONLY 25% of their male counterparts!)
Could you imagine college students being unable to locate the penis on an anatomy diagram?  That’s unheard of…
70-80% of women reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation alone, so without this pleasure-giving organ, women be SOL when it comes to orgasms.
So without further ado, give me a hand in welcoming these 7 interesting facts that you may have not known about the organ that makes women’s eyes roll into the back of their head:
  1. The clitoris is really a penis!

    The clitoris comes from the same embryonic tissue as a penis.  During the development phase (approximately 12 weeks), the genitalia decide whether or not they’re going to become a penis or labia based on the chromosomes it was dealt.  It’s components are similar to a penis as well… it has a glans, a foreskin (aka the hood), erectile tissue, and a tiny shaft.
  2. Only 1/4 of the clitoris is visible!

    Clitoris_anatomy_labeled-enThe clitoris is much bigger than you think!  Did you know the clitoris extends up to 5 inches inside the body and down the labia?  (The longest clitoris measured was 12 inches long in total! Wowza!)
    The legs of the clitoris extend back and down into the body and is shaped like a wishbone.  There are many erogenous areas along the clitoral legs that can be extremely erotic for women.  Most people focus all of their attention on the clitoral head, and skip over the clitoral shaft, the urethral sponge, vestibular bulbs, glands, and the legs.
  3. It gets an erection!

    The clitoris has erectile tissue just like a penis.  During arousal, it swells and grows in size due to blood flowing into the tissues.  As it swells, it gets exposed to even more nerve endings making it even more sensitive.  The amount of growth varies from woman to woman.
  4. It’s the most sensitive body part!

    The clitoris contains 8,000 nerve endings, nearly double that of the penis, and it can affect up to 15,000 other surrounding nerve endings giving women nearly 4x the amount of sensory receptors as men.  Yet more women struggle with the ability to reach orgasm than men do… hmmm?
  5. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it!

    If the clitoris goes unused, it will retreat into the body and the hood will fuse closed, known as clitoral atrophy.  Just like every other tissue in the body, the clitoris requires blood flow to stay happy and healthy.  So whatever you do – give your clitoris some love at least a few times a week.
  6. It grows!

    Hormonal changes lead to the clitoris growing over the course of a woman’s life.  The onset of puberty initiates the clitoris to increase in size.  At the end of puberty, it is about 1.8x larger.  By the time a woman is 32 years olds, the clitoris will be 4x as big as it was at the onset of puberty.  After menopause, the clitoris will grow to be 7x bigger than it was at birth.  But don’t worry, this growth is barely noticeable.
    However, women who have taken anabolic steroids actually grow their clitorises to look like mini penises.
  7. It NEVER ages!

    That’s right – your clitoris NEVER ages, despite how much wear and tear it has.  Once it reaches its maturity level, it maintains its pleasure capacity.  Which means that you’ll be able to have the same mind-blowing orgasms at 90 years old as you did as a teenager.

CaptCliff Sex Therapy Commentary:

Hey, it’s good to teach people more about the clitoris. However, it’s also pretty important to make sure readers dont come away with even more distorted expectations and misinformation given the discomfort and ignorance that exists about sexual anatomy.  To wit, some clarifications:

1) Do NOT be alarmed by the article’s unusual drawings, diagrams and shock jock type information. The clitoris is NOT a small Velociraptor or “walking penis” just waiting to rear up it’s bobble head and  jump off a woman’s body in search of carnal or carnivorous pleasure elsewhere. In fact, as far as we know the clitoris is flightless and non-ambulatory. Therefore, dont even think about going shopping for teeny-tiny shoes to fit those slender clitoral “legs” and feet the author mentions more then once. 

2) Do NOT feel bad (like guys do) that you dont have a Guinness world record 12-inch-long clitoris. Foot long clits are not only unwieldy and difficult to incorporate into ones wardrobe, but likely to inspire unnecessary questions on hot dates such as, “OMG, what the hell is that!!??” 

3) The clitoris is NOT a “chia pet” that magically swells up into the exact shape of a mini-dachshund or small ornamental X-mas tree. The “variance” in clitoral growth during arousal from woman to woman is not so important to sexual functioning that it suggests the need to measure your sex organ with a ruler or worry about it.  However, I’m sure there are plenty men who wouldn’t mind reading a journal article on the subject, especially if it includes full color illustrations.

4) It’s absolutely true that there are a hell of a lot of nerve endings down there. It’s physiologically quite complicated and involves more cross-wiring and multi-sensory receptors than your typical Comcast set-up at home. Unfortunately, just like Comcast, the guys that come to your house to sleep over typically misrepresent themselves as “experts”, are often unreliable, and often dont know SHIT about what they’re doing in your “crawlspace.”

5) OMG! The clitoris is NOT a land tortoise. The head of the clit is not going to “retract” into it’s shell until springtime or hide out in your lower abdomen like a bad hernia. Sure, feel free to touch yourself whenever you want, but dont worry about having to water it, bring it flowers, or play it love songs so it wont get pissed off and go away for good.

6) Again with the growth stuff?! Who wrote this article? They are making it sound like the average clitoris is anatomically related to Godzilla’s reproductive organ and that women athletes who take steroids normally sport ginormous dongs under their sweatpants. Everybody calm down.

7) Thank God! Finally they say something positive or that isn’t so easy to misinterpret. Even tho they make it seem like the clitoris is remarkably similar to a high-end Goodyear tire, ie. wear and tear factor, fill capacity, recommended PSI level, etc., it is  true that they can and should last a lifetime. In fact, if you happen to make it to 80 or 90 years old, your clitoris will probably end up being your best looking physical feature. More important, however, at least to the average owner-user, is the fact that the female clitoris can like a Timex watch “really take a lickin’ and still keep a tickin’.” Of course the same can be said of the male member as I know many guys both young and old who intend to use that good-old-boy until the wheels fall off.        Cliff Mazer, Ph.D.

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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2 Responses to Clit Wit

  1. Debby Simon says:

    Wait…TWELVE inches?? (And here I thought girls only had to deal with penis envy!)

  2. captaincliff says:

    In Yiddish accent: So nu? She needs a mohel more than she needs a boyfriend! Oy vey!

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