Ever hear of the psychological Dark Triad? I’m not talking about a place where people, airplanes, or sailing ships disappear. I’m referring to a certain deceptively deadly and highly seductive type of human being. Unlike certain terrifying apex predators in the wild that prey upon slower, weaker or smaller game like giant Florida pythons, Grizzly bears, rattlesnakes, poisonous spiders and great white sharks there is to my knowledge only one psychological syndrome or mixed personality disorder that includes the ability to hide ones underlying predatory nature by initially presenting themselves as an unusually friendly, socially adept, hyper-sexual, seductive, charming, physically attractive and colorful adult or alternatively insecure, hurt, abused or neglected child like adult…or both. Only later does this insidious and beguiling individual find a way to inject their toxic hypnogogic gaslight “venom” into their clueless Dudley-Do-Right rescuer/savior syndrome victims. Once accomplished, this femme fatale human chameleon with a scorpion tail will wait until its prey is sapped of it’s psychological and emotional vitality, masculine or feminine identity, positive self-image and overall will to resist. Even the dreaded black widow spider cant do all that. When the black widow does happen to devour her sex partner (which is actually not very often) it’s done out of sheer hunger and not because she actually enjoys the combination Olympic sport of carnal sex and cannibalism.

The psychiatric condition I am referring to is called Borderline Personality Disorder with Sociopathic features. Fortunately, most borderline patients (often but not always female) do not suffer from this particularly predatory and treacherous character pathology. Fearful of abandonment and crippled by deep insecurity and self-loathing, the majority of individuals with BPD either “act-in” or “act-out”. Acting-in borderlines are prone to suicidal ideation, depression, cutting and self-mutilation. They more often see themselves as unnecessary burdens upon their friends, life-partners and families of origin. In contrast, acting out borderlines are more overtly emotionally labile and unstable with recurring episodes of seemingly unprovoked anger, rage and occasional violence. Intimate relationships are very often volatile, exhausting and difficult. Such extraordinary emotional hyper-reactivity is often associated with impulsiveness, reckless spending, eating disorders and ongoing substance abuse issues. Usually triggered by deep-seated fear of abandonment or failure, sensitivity to rejection or criticism by loved ones the borderline personality travels a rocky road in life until a differential diagnosis and proven form of therapeutic treatment is received.

However, it is the extra addition of the sociopathic or antisocial dimension that makes for a certain Dark Triad “hybrid” borderline personality. They not only act out their emotional issues in intensely emotional, defensive, aggressive or passive-aggressive ways but also do not feel much guilt or remorse about it. They are too busy achieving their Machiavellian goals of taking over the world or just the relationship and/or marriage with you as a convenient stepping stone to something or someone else. While still emotionally unstable, they are also able to turn certain emotions and prosocial (versus antisocial or immoral) behaviors on and off depending on what serves their immediate self-centered needs and longterm purpose. The psychopathic borderline type is therefore more likely to conceal their basic insecurity, unstable always changing identity and psychological deficits under a facade of unusual physical and/or social attractiveness, sexual charisma and superficial charm. They are also more likely due to narcissistic tendencies to exaggerate their achievements, sexual conquests, diverse resume of professional employment, their creative, educational and intellectual accomplishments, and wide array of acquired “skill sets”. At the same time these individuals downplay important details about their past relationships and the specific reasons for their having, for example, left a job, whether they were fired, quit or were sent packing for unethical, criminal, immoral or inappropriate behavior, etc. .  Dont be surprised if the actual reason turns out to be  inappropriate sexual behavior that was used to feed their inexhaustible need for attention, adoration, external validation or to complete some ingenious human flytrap scheme to obtain sufficient financial, physical or social/emotional support from various vulnerable and/or gullible family members, friends, coworkers, and especially  “able-bodied” men. Meanwhile, obtaining a clear, consistent and credible life history from such a person is amazingly difficult. They are the worlds greatest liars.

This type of woman generally likes and superficially gets along with other women but usually only as a temporary comrade-in arms and opportunistic “wing buddy”. Fundamentally she prefers the way that men “taste” if you know what I mean. They also wont really care if a man is married, single, older, or in a serious relationship with someone else already as they subconsciously enjoy the challenge of taking what is not theirs from someone else, even someone they may be related to or may know very well. In this respect they could be considered professional home-wreckers and wholesale privateers who’s motto is “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine too”. Like the infamous honey badger, when it comes to insuring their own survival and feeding their bellies psychologically, financially, emotionally, sexually or professionally, this hybrid borderline beast “just don’t care”, doesn’t feel bad about it and has little time, interest or ability to empathize. Of course all syndromes and clinical diagnoses lie on a continuum of severity and care must be taken to consider the possibility of other co-existing disorders particularly bipolar, ADHD, substance abuse and impulse control disorders that have either an organic or genetic basis. Finally, if the clinical diagnosis becomes confusing keep in mind that repeated manipulation, deception, and straight up deceit are more prominent in BPD with sociopathic features while mood instability, emotional vulnerability and recurrent bouts of suicidality and self-hatred are more characteristic of BPD proper. Either way, men or women who choose to hook-up, live with or marry such an exciting and quite often sexually attractive creature are forewarned of the wild ride ahead. My suggestion is that one proceed consciously, cautiously and at ones own risk while always remembering to bring a sharp sword or battle axe, full body armor and really strong bug spray. We’re talking Jurassic Park kind of primal fantasy/dream turned toxic snarling Velociraptor nightmare. Worse yet, once you are on the tropical island with these highly intelligent, unusually clever and fully carnivorous creatures there just may be no getting off Fantasy Island. “Clever girl”.

Shelob from Lord of the Rings: https://youtu.be/ZKeEZWbCRVE