Unlike animals in the wild that prey upon weaker game like rattlesnakes, poisonous spiders and Great White Sharks, there is to my knowledge only one psychological syndrome or personality disorder among humans that includes the ability to hide ones basic predatory nature by initially presenting oneself as a friendly, socially adept, sexy adult or possibly abused and previously neglected compliant child. Only later does this insidious and beguiling individual inject her hypnogogic “venom” into her clueless rescuer-victims. Once accomplished, this human chameleon with scorpion tail will wait until its prey is sapped of it’s psychological and emotional energy, general vitality, masculine or feminine self-image and overall will to resist. Even the dreaded black widow spider cant do all that. When the black widow does devour her sex partner/hubby (which is not very often) it’s done out of sheer hunger and not because she actually enjoys the combined Olympic sport of sex and cannibalism.
The psychiatric condition I am referring to is called Borderline Personality Disorder with Sociopathic features. Fortunately, most borderline patients (usually female) do not suffer from this particularly treacherous character pathology. Fearful of abandonment and crippled by insecurity and self-loathing, the majority of individuals with BPD either “act-in” or “act-out”. Acting-in borderlines are prone to suicidal ideation, depression, cutting and self-mutilation. They more often see themselves as unnecessary burdens on their friends, life-partners and families. In contrast, acting out borderlines are more overtly emotionally labile and unstable with recurrent episodes of seemingly unprovoked anger, rage and occasional violence. Intimate relationships are very often volatile and difficult. Such extraordinary hyperreactivity is often associated with impulsiveness, reckless spending, eating disorders and substance abuse issues. Usually triggered by deep-seated fears of failure, sensitivity to rejection and especially abandonment by loved ones the borderline personality travels a rocky road in life until a diagnosis and treatment is received.
However, it is the extra addition of the sociopathic or antisocial dimension that makes for a “hybrid” borderline personality. They not only act out their emotional issues in intensely emotional, defensive, aggressive or passive-aggressive ways but also do not feel much guilt or remorse about it. While still emotionally unstable, they seem also able to turn certain feelings and behaviors on and off depending on what best serves their immediate needs and longterm purpose. The psychopathic borderline type is likely to conceal their basic insecurity, unstable identity and psychological deficits under a facade of self-confidence, physical or social attractiveness and superficial “charm”. They are also more likely to exaggerate their achievements, sexual conquests, diverse resume of professional employment, their creative and intellectual accomplishments, and wide array of acquired “skill sets”. At the same time these individuals downplay details about past relationships and the specific reasons for their having left a job, whether they were fired, quit or were sent packing for unethical, criminal, immoral or inappropriate behavior. Dont be surprised if the actual reason turns out to be inappropriate or excessive sexual behavior that was used to feed their near inexhaustible need for attention, adoration, validation or to set up an ingenious trap (human spider web) to obtain financial, physical or social support from vulnerable and gullible family members, friends, coworkers, and especially “able-bodied” men. Obtaining a clear, consistent and credible life history from such a person is unusually difficult. They are the worlds greatest liars.
This type of woman likes other women but usually only as temporary comrades-in-arms and opportunistic “wing buddies”, but fundamentally prefers the way that men “taste” if you know what I mean. They also wont care if a man is married, single, older, or in a serious relationship as they seem to enjoy the challenge of taking what is not theirs from someone else, even someone they may know quite well. In this respect they could be considered professional home-wreckers and wholesale privateers who consider “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine too”. Like the honey badger, when it comes to insuring their own survival and feeding their bellies psychologically, financially, emotionally, sexually or professionally, they just “don’t care” and have little ability to empathize. Of course all syndromes and clinical diagnoses lie on a continuum of severity and care must be taken to consider the possibility of other co-existing disorders particularly bipolar, ADHD, substance abuse and impulse control disorders that have either an organic or genetic basis. Finally, if the clinical diagnosis becomes confusing keep in mind that repeated manipulation, deception, and deceit are more prominent in BPD with sociopathic features while mood instability, emotional vulnerability and recurrent bouts of self-hatred are more characteristic of BPD proper. Either way, men or women who choose to hook-up, live with or marry such an exciting and quite often attractive creature are forewarned of the wild adventure ahead. My suggestion is that one proceed cautiously at their own risk and remember to bring a sharp sword, body armor and really good bug spray. We’re talking Jurassic Park kind of fantasy/dream turned toxic nightmare here. Worse yet, once you are on the island with these highly intelligent, clever and carnivorous creatures there may be no getting off.
Shelob from Lord of the Rings: https://youtu.be/ZKeEZWbCRVE