Local News update: Cliff Mazer, Ph.D., a resident of Sandy Springs has apparently switched from his usual breakfast fare to an “Australian style” yogurt. The product, Wallaby’s low fat yogurt comes in various fruit flavors and is produced in Napa Valley California. There is however a picture of a kangaroo on the container, thus making it more Australian to the average idiot American. Meanwhile nuclear reactors in Japan continue to melt down to their cores. Thousands are dead and missing. The Prime Minister spoke on television in an attempt to calm the general populace. Surrounded by a unnatural greenish hue that appeared to pulsate visibly when he was outright lying , the leader repeatedly expressed his belief that radiation levels at the damaged plants were still in no way hazardous.