I havent been writing much lately. Frankly the news, even what they call “weird news” is mostly mundane and uninteresting. I have tried to keep my readers informed about gay penguins, insane castration prone girlfriends, and any and all manner of shenanigans that enlarge ones perspective and make a person glad to be alive…. and still attached to their major appendages. A story I watched last night on “I Shouldn’t Have Survived” involved a farmer who got caught in his moving grain combine/tractor and had to voluntarily remove his clothes and left hand to escape being turned completely into breakfast cereal. He was glad to do it (sacrifice a mere limb) given the alternative and was a bit embarrassed at his gaffe, which was not getting wrapped up in his razor sharp farming equipment but losing nearly all his clothes in the process. Lucky he still had one thumb left to hitch a ride to the hospital. That’s human courage.
However, another story hits closer to home. I live in a quiet subdued (or so I thought) suburb of Atlanta known as Sandy Springs. There’s not a whole lot of wild “action” around, unless you call the early bird special at Applebees wild or think that crossing Roswell Road at dusk on a Friday afternoon constitutes a legitimate form of playing Russian Roulette. Our little village is run like a tight ship with police cruisers on every other street corner and plenty of friendly neighbors waving hello even tho I dont remember hardly any of them by name. I just wave back in a certain way that means, “Aint it great to live in safe, secure, well manicured Sandy Springs? Hiya back and your lawn is looking great!” Well, an article I noticed today in the local news patch suggests there are a few activities going on that I wasn’t aware of before, which is good because going to a movie theater and out to get frozen yogurt and/or ice cream is starting to get old, like many of the residents who live here, including myself. Choosing a new undiscovered flavor at Baskin Robbins does not exactly equate to going bungee jumping in New Zealand or zip-lining in Costa Rica.
So, what is this new enterprise, activity, risky business? Well….it seems we in Sandy Springs have been playing host to our own transgender dominatrix who for $250 an hour is willing to provide sadomasochistic sessions in his/her private dungeon apartment. Who knew?? While the price is definitely out of my league for the average weekend leisure activity or social pursuit, it definitely qualifies for a certain type of persons ultimate bucket list. Dont ask me to specify the type of person because there are alot of different ways to butter our bread and people do the craziest things, even for $250 bucks an hour. Actually, at that price point I wonder if they are hiring? I would be happy to spank somebody’s tush and wear a rubber mask for about the same amount my attorney makes. At least the right person gets spanked and there is pleasure in the pain at Mistress Regina’s fun house. Hey, I wonder if there’s a Groupon for that?