Sex and Marriage With Cows

Finally, just in the nick of time and in the least probable of places we have a bona-fide solution to bestiality. I have attempted to warn my readers (both of them) that their petty obsession with climate change, nuclear proliferation, and gay marriage, of all things pales in comparison to the near global epidemic of people having sex with animals. In blog after blog I have trotted out the grisly details. Horses, dogs, sheep, lamb, donkeys, I could go on and on in a Noah’s Ark like rendition of sexual perversity that appears to be reaching a climax of sorts. Notice I haven’t even mentioned the inanimate objects like stuffed animals, oak trees and imitation leopard skin Huggies (my personal preference) that have increasingly been assaulted by sex crazed humans without their “sentient” consent. Let’s face it, it’s hard for a Care bear or a crocodile to give it’s consent, but I notice that nobody is trying to take advantage of a lady crocodile, so that should tell you something. Apparently there is an enormous amount of denial in society, even in these significantly more liberal times about the spreading preference for domestic livestock over similar or even matching species for quick and dirty sex.

The small nation of Bali, with it’s beautiful beaches, tropical climate and ubiquitous creative arts and crafts has lead the way in coming up with a proactive and well, creative solution. They are making the man marry the cow. That’s right. He was forced to marry the cow in a formal ceremony with priests, guests and all the matrimonial “trimmings”. Bali has always been a favorite of wealthy people who seek an exotic locale to consummate their marital vows, altho I suspect the aforementioned ceremony did not take place at the well-heeled Anantara Resort and Spa. Disclaimer: From reading the article below, It is apparent that this tiny nation’s courageous attempt to make inter-species unions legal still has a few kinks in it, so to speak. It is reported that the young groom, Ngurah Alit passed out before pledging his undying love for Daisy and the townspeople in a fit of celebratory passion decided to drown the cow. Down here in the South where I live we would have just slow roasted and barbecued the bride to be. That’s some good eatin’, dammit!!

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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