Therapy Secret Revealed: I know that mindful meditation is all in vogue today, but here’s another simple suggestion. When life gets too weird, chaotic, ironic or unpredictable, try turning on Law and Order to regain ones composure and sense of stability. Fortunately, there is ALWAYS a Law and Order episode playing 24/7 in every part of the known universe. I watch Law and Order in bed, on the treadmill, on the computer and if I have to go to the bathroom, always leave the door open so I can hear when the recognizable “Ta-Dum” sound occurs signaling the start of the show. Someone somewhere in the black trash bag piled streets of NYC has been killed or victimized and we the vicarious “living through others” people of Earth seek justice, and maybe some violent retribution. In fact, I’m pretty sure there are tribes in remote jungles somewhere in Brazil or New Guinea who hunt, forage and dig for wild yam during the day and at night gather together in a smoky communal hut to watch Law and Order SVU. It’s not inconceivable, especially with Satellite and Dish TV. Like me, the pygmies and loin cloth wearing Cannibals wonder why the police and the SVU team never see the enraged female gunman or family member on the courthouse steps who predictably guns down the smug rapist or child killer (who just got off on some obscure legal technicality). Of course the difference is that the Cannibals would celebrate the episodes oh-so-predictable ending by dismembering the bad guy, eating his body and ingesting his soul while I’m satisfied that karmic justice has been served and that Nancy Grace will likely be in a less hysterical mood. I may or may not also celebrate the fact by going downstairs to the kitchen and eating a turkey sandwich on rye bread with Durkees Dressing….
Why do I think the world is so weird and filled with irony? Most of us are too busy to notice and as human beings we swim in ironic circumstances like zebra fish in a large murky aquarium. We dont see the great irony until it’s brought to our attention. One small example from my life may suffice.
I was trained as a sex therapist under the auspices of a particular pre-Viagra time and place (San Francisco circa 1976) which worshiped the pioneers of the burgeoning field of sexology. The big Kahunas were Masters and Johnson, a team of Washington University, St. Louis researchers who also happened to have written a 1966 best seller called Human Sexual Response. In 1971, William Masters divorced his wife and married Virginia Johnson, his research partner. Maybe all that steamy stuff in the lab went to their heads, or maybe they just fell in love. At UCSF we learned to use the Masters and Johnson method of treating sexual dysfunction and helping struggling couples improve their physical intimacy. Trust me there were alot of “take home” assignments given to individual clients and couples back then including specialized reading, watching certain “movies”, sensate focus and self-stimulation exercises (aka, “jerking off”), back-rubs, and, well, body rubs of all kinds. You didnt just see people for a few minutes and tell them to “get out there and do it, dammit”. Nor did we have magic blue pills to throw at them and say, “This ought to do it…just call me in the morning”.
Well, that was then and this is now. Masters and Johnson, the gurus of sex therapy and intimacy got divorced in 1992. William Masters died in 2001. So is that the irony? No there is more. Earlier this year William Masters III, the son of the esteemed sex therapist was arrested for exposing himself in New York’s Central Park. You might say it was an accident or a unfortunate fluke, but this week he was busted again for showing off his sex-related junk to two female undercover police officers posing as kayakers in rural Michigan. I guess they skip the Bait Car and To Catch a Predator routine up there and go right to the Bait Kayak maneuver. He is, as the links below shows, a dead ringer for his dear old dad. Now that’s irony. If you don’t mind I’ll stop right there and turn on another Law and Order. I think it’s the one where Stabler goes bananas on a perp and Olivia is working on her PTSD issues. God bless them.
Picture of the Old Man and Pioneer Sex Researcher:
Picture and Story about Sonny boy and his recent “Northern Exposure” problem: