Oh God, He was MARRIED!

First they find trillions of diamonds in Russia and now this article (see below) says there is new evidence to show that Jesus was MARRIED. What the hell is going on? So if Jesus had a wife, why cant we hear her side of the story? Maybe it went something like this:

(Found on a papyrus scroll in a cave outside of Jerusalem)

Dear Diary,
Jesus was gone for three days. I didnt hear one holy word from him the whole time. Then all of a sudden he shows up looking like complete dreck, with his clothes in tatters and dripping blood from large holes in his hands. I yelled at him and told him, “What, just because you believe you’re the son of God you think you can disappear for days and then come back hungover drunk and dripping blood all over the cave floor?? You have zero respect for your helpmate! Also, its time you get a real job. This wandering sage, mystical healer thing is obviously not working out! Look at yourself for Yahweh Sake!! At least carpentry is a decent trade, even if you never fix your own furniture when it breaks. The kitchen stool you made is a piece of camel dung and dont even THINK about telling me one of your stupid three legged stool metaphors. Save it for your shmendrik disciples that think you’re so great …….Oy, I’m not talking to you until you take a bath. You stink and your breath is HORRENDOUS.”


About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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