CaptCliff on O.J. the Alleged Killer

O.J. Simpson is apparently trying to sell the knife he “allegedly” used to kill two people with. He wants five million bucks for it, but all reasonable six figure offers will be considered. I have many questions: 1) Does it come with the wrinkly gloves that dont fit so they had to acquit? 2) Does it come with his foray into fiction writing in the brilliantly self-titled book, “If I did It”? 3)  Is the knife autographed and authenticated just like all his football memorabilia that he attempted to re-obtain at gunpoint from sports vendors in Vegas? 4) Is the knife still sharp enough to slice, dice, and nearly decapitate, and if not, could he include a free “Edge of Glory” knife sharpener? 5) What Infomercial marketing guru thought up the name “Edge of Glory” for a cheaply made AS SEEN ON TV kitchen product and what drug was he smoking at the time? 6) Can that stupid little device really sharpen all my plastic credit cards into razor sharp ninja throwing, tomato slashing weapons? Finally, how much would it cost to get O.J. to use the knife or my credit card to disembowel himself and post it live on Reddit or You Tube? Trust me, many people would pay good money to see that.

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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