The Bone Collector: Viking Love or Unified Theory of Everything?

Let me warn you or better yet, let me signal what is to come. All of
life’s great irony and exquisite mystery are possibly revealed in
the following news story. That’s right. You can give up your quest to
climb Mt. Everest, quit your introductory Buddhism class, cancel the
upcoming “clearing” session at the Church of Scientology, and put down
that copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. A simple news feed from
Sweden (of all places) helps to explain what human beings are really
about and why we exist. You can also forget about the newly elected
Pope with one lung and the recently verified Higgs-boson sub-atomic particle that cost a zillion dollars to basically build a 17 mile high tech running track for Hobbits.

Not that that wasn’t good science and careful Cosmology but it doesnt get at human
motivation, existential meaning and primary purpose. Who cares about God particles that help shape form and mass in the known universe compared to what shapes and gives meaning to human beings, the apex species on the planet. What good is a Higgs-boson if you cant eat it, rub it or make it love you?

I wont tease you and I wont beat around the bush. This is it. The
answer to what shapes our individual lives and gives us direction

I distinctly remember searching for the meaning of life and taking the
EST training in the 1970s. I paid $350 to piss in my pants and hear
Werner Erhard whisper into a microphone on the third day of our
training, “People, when your HOT you’re hot and when you’re not you’re
NOT”.  Wtf?? That’s it?? I thought the guy was not only a hustler and
a douchbag but also out of his mind. I concluded that he was Ron Popiel
without a Pocket Fisherman or a working Rotisserie Oven (Set it and Forget
it!). I didn’t get “it” as they called it in EST-alese. Well, now I
get it. After reading this Swedish article about a lady who had sex
with a skeleton that she patiently collected bone by bone and metatarsal by
metatarsal, I hereby accept the fact that we all are symbolically
speaking “bone collectors” who arbitrarily find meaning and purpose and
then “animate” our personal passion by literally loving and fucking
what we kill, what we make or keep.  Some of us collect porcelain figurines,
some like sports cars. I like making bamboo pipes made out of “found
objects” gotten from discarded materials, which is a pretty cheap hobby
considering the price of junk and super-glue. On television it’s pretty
obvious that people love and covet flipping houses, spoiled rich housewives,
digital gadgets, fishing, and celebrities who dance (poorly) with the stars and
curse alot (measured by the loud beeps). The point is it’s pretty darn
random what we choose to get hooked on and obsessed with. That’s life.
It’s that simple. I know…it’s almost a letdown because we tend to
expect mental orgasms and emotional fireworks with our moments of
enlightenment. Sorry about that.

The good news is that you probably can just go ahead and live life and
dont have to stop doing what you’re doing or hire a personal trainer
(unless you are a fat slob who would like to collect human body parts
but are too out of shape to touch your toes let alone lift and sort
plastic bins filled with rib bones). Unlike the lady in Sweden you dont
have to lick a human skull, keep it in your freezer or have sex with
the bones. I barely have room for an extra bag of ice in my freezer
compartment. We can all freely choose what to believe in, what or who
to love (dead or alive) and how to worship. Licking skulls is an
elective, not a prerequisite. I did like the way she lovingly tucked
her skeleton into bed at night (see photo gallery). That was kind of

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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