CaptCliff on La Santa Muerte (The Death Goddess)

death goddess 3


Are you getting a little sick and tired of your present religion?
Feeling like your chosen deity is a little “yesteryear” and everybody
else is praying to a hipper higher power? Just like adding protein
powder and spiralina to your standard smoothie, there is a way to
ratchet up the divinity factor and omnipresence in your current
Almighty King of the Universe. According to the Huffington Post there
is an upswing lately in the belief in and worship of La Santa Muerte,
the female “Saint of Death” who, by the way, is also a skeleton. I dont
mean she’s super skinny like Bettheny Frankel or an anorexic angel. I
mean she is a dead-as-a-door-nail skeleton that is dressed in long
robes, adorned in colorful jewelry and usually seen carrying a sickle
and a globe. People make religious shrines using her ghastly/ghostly
image and then ask for whatever they want, including wads of cash,
European sports cars or a small swarm of super-models for a day or
possibly all eternity. Since she (the Death Deity) is from hell, the
sky’s the limit (in terms of her power to grant wishes) and it’s clear
that this is one God figure that has little or no shame about getting
down and dirty to make a materialistic miracle. Mexican drug dealers
and cartel type tycoons are apparently quite fond of worshipping her as
well as asking for her legal and criminal protection. Even a few La-la
land actors have made private shrines in her blessed name. Funny, I
thought all Hollywood actors were Scientologists. I guess there is no
reason to pay thousands of dollars and go through all that emotional
“clearing”, intense therapy and Sea Org training if the Grim Reapress
can just cut through the b.s. with her curved ninja blade and “make it

Where did this newfangled gaunt Goddess come from? Leave it up to
cultural cross-pollination and the unique “blend” of Spanish
Catholicism and Meso-American bloodlust. Somewhere between the Aztec
obsession with death and after-life and the Catholic compulsion for
creating colorful shrines with impressive power rituals there was a
mystical union that gave birth to La Santa Muerta. Sort of the
religious equivalent to mixing old school Acapulco Gold with Mendocino
hydroponic-grown Purple Kush. That’s some bad-ass magic “mojo” and there
are no reported side-effects, nausea, or church or synogogue membership
related building funds to contend with………Plus, the La Santa
Muerte car shrine and miniature dash mount figure is good for parking
karma, and at the very worst is an interesting conversation piece.
What the hell is that??

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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