Election Update 2020: Insomnia Edition

ELECTION NEWS WARNING: While we wait with bated breath for final final for sure for sure election results and lest we experience the urge to indulge our collective bloodlust now almost four years in the making, let us remember this. We’re all human beings with our own character flaws and weaknesses. Nobodys perfect …not even President Trump even tho he keeps saying he is perfect over and over. Having persistent thoughts or florid fantasies of Donald Trump stripped down to his whitey tighties and unceremoniously booted from the White House are quite normal…all things considered. Were only human to have such talionic thoughts. Similarly, imagining Donald Trump blind-folded, duct taped, and rubbed head to toe with bloody red meat and rotten fish heads before being released into a pristine wilderness teeming with wolves and grizzy bears is also not necessarily “wrong” or “bad” or even all that abnormal…especially if the fantasy happens to include a National Park that POTUS planned to turn into a multi-use condo complex and Trump Tower. Such creative daydreams are often cathartic and possibly even therapeutic. Perhaps like myself you recently found yourself alternating between watching endless hours of CNN election return “news alerts” and simultaneously envisioning Jared Kushner and Stephen Miller in greasy rags rather than expensive slim fit designer suits being hunted down like rabid dogs and chased through the streets of Washington DC like Muammar Gaddafi. Unusual? Perhaps. Illegal, immoral or unhealthy? Not really.

As a psychologist I can assure you that part of the closure process towards achieving full body and mind reconciliation and radical forgiveness is eliminating judgement of self. That would include freeing ones mind and releasing the accumulated trauma induced “pain body” to go exactly where it needs to go …such as mindfully meditating on an image of unrestrained mobs of bank lenders, dissatisfied creditors, homeless people, Anthony Fauci with a meat cleaver , Hillary Clinton, the Squad, the Hulk, the IRS and 100 lottery winning metoo activists all descending upon the Oval Office with the expressed purpose of taking their respective pound of flesh.

That said, if you have followed my nearly defunct CaptCliff blog or read my imaginary 12 volume psychobiography of Donald Trump you would also know and remember to NEVER EVER EVER underestimate Donald Trump or his uncanny ability to get out of a tough spot whether its avoiding a full congressional impeachment, a maximum security prison sentence, touching someones kitty cat without permission, paying income tax like regular people, or winning and then losing a major presidential election against all odds. He is the guy in the movie who can appear to be hopelessly trapped and completely surrounded but then while pretending to negotiate his own surrender suddenly pivot on a dime and escapes, usually by using a friend, a foe, his own mother, a helpless baby or Mitch McConnell as a human shield. Once in the clear he is then likely to release a swarm of litigous lawyers with specious lawsuits like Air Force One deploying drones and antiaircraft chaff to thwart any and all attacks including out of office criminal complaints, sex assault charges and multiple unpaid parking tickets and alimony notifications.

Bottomline: what we all need to do at this sweat-filled juncture is to take a deep cleansing yoga breath, stay cool, and wait. This thing is STILL not over and we dont even know if this half man half honey badger incumbent president is going to leave. However, What we do know is that he is armed and dangerous, extremely clever, and very likely pumped up on steroids, junk food, diet coke and hydroxychloroquine. As a result, in the current circumstance and with his reptilian “back to the wall” the Trumpster is at his most desperate best and worst. He needs someone and/or something to blame and thanks to Hitler the Jews are already taken. He may well also be in a kind of crazed Col. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now type unstable mental state. Even cannibalism in the embattled White House is not out of the question. Besides hating to lose one thing is certain and that is that the accidental president of the United States woke up on Friday November 6, 2020 in a really lousy mood only to be told that Georgia, my adopted home state had turned blue. As a result and with many things still in doubt we CAN say with absolute certainty he is not only shitting bricks as we speak but is also more pissed off and ornery than an ill-tempered rattlesnake who’s been rousted from his feathered nest and repeatedly poked with a sharp blue stick, or to be more precise many different sticks by many people of various rainbow colors.

PS. This moment in time is reminiscent of certain similar situations and iconic scenes in history and cinema. Here is one such video that’s been cleverly adapted with dialogue and closed captions to the exact momentous moment that we and Donald Trump find ourself in….


About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world
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