Dear Diary, Well its all set up. I’m going to Mexico to live on the beach and be a Mexicana chick!! The old fart who wrote me in jail sent me the 200k he promised me. I would say thats a pretty good deal for 1) free Tequila daily (top shelf only) 2) no more death threats and 3) only having to blow him once a week. I started my online Spanish course and my self-tanning product from QVC came in the mail. I want to be darker than Jose by the time I hit the beach. I also cant wait to get away from that frizzy haired lesbo lawyer who cant stop hugging me…ewww. There is no way that chick is coming to visit me when I move. Well, hasta la vista baby and vaya condido….or is it Vaya candida?  Whatever!