A brown bear I will call “Tickle Monster” has eaten a convicted killer in Canada (see web link below). The bear was later euthanized by the Canadian Park Service because large bears reportedly have the ability to “remember their food sources”. Put more simply, if they like the taste of felon, they might acquire a taste preference for humans that commit heinous crimes. Which brings me to the subject of Jerry Sandusky. Couldn’t we make this a win-win situation both for the criminal justice system as well as for the environment? How about we go Green and energy efficient in our approach to capital punishment? Think about how large the carbon footprint and expensive and it is to house, clothe, guard, feed and then execute convicted criminals and predator pedophiles like Mr. Sandusky. Psychologists and parenting experts are always harping about how the punishment should fit the crime and ought to involve “consequences” that have a natural connection to the misbehavior involved. Here we have a man who loves to wrestle and tickle boys and “mentor” them right up until he sodomizes them and forces them to have sex in exchange for their silence. One victim describes having developed a near phobic aversion toward “chest hair” as a result of these “close encounters” and private tutoring sessions with Coach Sandusky. Now think about this highly intelligent bear population, some of whom are having a hard time surviving in our rapidly changing ecosystem. In Yellowstone Park many Grizzlies have taken to dumpster diving and impersonating trash collectors (uniform and all) to garner enough food to survive and build up their fat reserves for the winter. These bears love to wrestle, forcibly mate, and play with their food before biting it and eating it alive. They are extremely social animals who form close bonds within their family-Clan, just like human families do, even human families with misplaced loyalties that apparently cant hear or notice young victims screaming for help in their basement. Summary: wouldn’t it be a perfect match made in heaven to house Jerry Sandusky with a large, hairy, loveable and ferociously hungry black bear or even mature Grizzly that is three times his size? Doesn’t Jerry actually look a little like a bear in terms of his facial structure and oversized teeth? Some people say that we all have an animal “totem”, a certain spirit animal that embodies our higher spiritual possibilities and human nature. I think Jerry Sandusky is a bear (way more then he is a Nittany Lion anyway) and therefore should be helped to merge with his true higher self.