Folks, I don’t know if I can keep doing any more “sex news” blogging. The whole thing has gotten so weird and out of control that I fear a Noah-sized flood or Yahweh-inspired Sodom and Gomorrah fiery inferno at any time. I dont even have to go looking for sick twisted stories online about sexual deviation among mankind and well, most other species and/or unusual household products. Most of it is daily news on HuffPost. The worst part of it is that it’s no longer even strange to read such stories which would have sent my maternal grandfather reaching for his nitroglycerin tablets and my grandmother for her shoebox of anti-psychotic medications. I dont feel like embellishing or explaining this particular news item today. I just want to pose a simple question or two such as: 1) Why would a Florida man need to engage in oral sex with his girlfriend’s three-legged dog? 2) Why did this same individual feel it necessary to download images of said behavior to his cellphone? 3) Finally, where in hell did he locate an attorney able to find a loophole in Florida’s penal code (get it?) and bestiality law stating that kissing or licking Fido’s boner is ok, but penetrating it with anything even vaguely humanoid is not? I would probably also wonder: how much do you think lawyers in Florida charge by the hour to defend such precedent setting cases? Probably just a tad bit more than Jose Baez charged Casey Anthony and the state of Florida for getting her acquitted and certified as a lifeguard at Typhoon Lagoon near Disneyworld ….just kidding.
I guess the point is attorneys will defend any case or demented defendant no matter how weird and wacked out they might be. It’s apparently vital to our form of government and legal system. Everyone, even completely guilty totally in-denial child molesters and serial showerers like Jerry Sandusky are presumed innocent until 53845 former victims show up in court and testify against you. In the Sandusky case the guy went through more soap and shower suds then all the car washes in Western Pennsylvania. It should have been an obvious, albeit slippery forensic clue, don’t you agree? Anyway, dont worry about the dog kisser-molester guy. Apparently he had alot of kiddie porn on his computer and they can still nab him for that, but then who’s computer nowadays doesnt? Hey, by the way, how DO you get rid of a hard drive? Just kidding…not. I can always blame it on my kids, my kids friends and applied sex research. Somehow I dont think the doggy dude is going to be able to get off scot free (especially by his gf) by explaining, “Hey, I saw Cesar Milan suggest it on the Dog Whisperer”. Ewww.