Monthly Archives: March 2012

In a tragic case of mistaken identity, Geraldo Rivera was shot to death today by Libyan rebels who mistook him for the deranged dictator Muammar Gaddafi. Rivera was said to have died shortly after rebel fighters overran loyalists defending the coastal town of Sirte – finally ending the last remnants of Gaddafi’s 42 year hold on Libya.

Libyan National Transitional Council official Abdel Mlegta said ” I swear the guy looked just like Gaddafi!! He even had the same bad hair…We’re really sorry.” The celebrity reporter was wounded in both legs at dawn today as he attempted to relieve himself in a drainage pipe right next to the cowering strongman who had fled in a heavily armed convoy which NATO warplanes attacked.

“I swear to Allah we couldnt tell who was who” the official said. “There was a lot of firing against his group and he just wouldn’t stop talking so we shot him. Neither of them made any sense.” The rebels later recaptured the real Libyan leader and executed him after beating him with shoes as is their national custom.

Ok, time for a major reality check. I have written extensively about recent news articles detailing men who loved horses a bit too much. Yep, I said horses or horsies, not ho’s or horticulture. Now we see a new book, “Wet Goddess” about a man who fell in love with a 400 pound female dolphin and regularly consummated his beyond PETA love affair……I repeat, with a dolphin. As a certified sex therapist, well aware of Alfred Kinsey’s research on the prevalence of bestiality (farm living predictably has the highest “window of opportunity” for such May-December romances) I am not that surprised. What is more surprising is how supportive the younger generations are of sex between….absolutely anything.

It seems Star Trek, Star Wars, Planet of the Apes, Dragon Con, the Furry Movement, Avatar, and maybe a Twilight Zone episode I cant quite remember have taken things well beyond the Baby Boomers meek struggle in support of equality and interracial relationships, (ie. beyond differences like someone who is Reform Jewish hooking up with someone who is Modern Orthodox?) and spinning off into an intergalactic hodgepodge of socially and anthropologically acceptable liaisons. The author of the book claims his human girlfriends were aware of his tryst with Flipper and were totally cool about it…..hmmm. I am beginning to feel like a prude for like the first time in my life. For one thing, how do we know that the cetacean partner was saying “yes, yes, yes” and not “get off me you freak”…. by her eyes, her squeaks, or just her echo locating sonar?? Maybe I should think this through before blogging away like a marine mammal church lady. I’m just sayin’, if he was Jewish, how do you tell your mother you are in love with a goyische shiksa who not only EATS shellfish but IS pretty much shellfish….so to speak???