Author Archives: captaincliff

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About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world

Charlie Sheen is an Asshole

I just decided. Charlie Sheen is an asshole. There is no “winning”, just doing the best we can with what we got. There is no getting away with anything. Every time we choose unwisely it comes back to bite us … Continue reading

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Counterpoint to The Facebook Reef: A Crabby Rejoinder

Introduction:  Unlike some online forums and ridiculously biased TV networks, CaptCliff always gives time to opposing viewpoints.  Thus, Crabby Cliff responds to his more philosophical side, wistfully set forth in a previous essay, The Facebook Reef.   “Wait, I think … Continue reading

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CaptCliff gets quasi serious on : The Facebook Reef

Have you ever just goofed around and randomly surfed Facebook? I dont mean the people you know, but rather all the FB beings whom you dont know, but somehow someone else is friends with…. who are then friends with someone … Continue reading

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Capt Cliff News Update!! Olive Garden Joins Applebees in Reducing the Legal Age of Drinking to…like Zero

Not to be outdone by Applebees, Olive Garden has quickly joined the ranks of family style restaurants now serving booze to toddlers. A two year old in Florida got a big surprise in his orange juice yesterday when the Italian … Continue reading

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Capt Cliff Twists the News: Joran You Naughty Naughty Boy

The Peruvian magazine Panorama alleges that Joran van der Sloot has stabbed three fellow prisoners, with at least one victim needing emergency medical care. When asked what caused the confrontation, Van der Sloot claims to have become enraged when he … Continue reading

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Capt Cliff’s Weird Rants and Raves: A Parody on Applebees and American Capitalism

The Applebee’s restaurant chain says it’s changing the way it serves juice after a toddler was mistakenly given a small amount of alcohol at a Detroit-area franchise. Apparently, news of the slightly sedated toddler has struck a chord among exhausted … Continue reading

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My 40th High School Reunion

Ode to My 40th Reunion   by Cliff Mazer, Ph.D.   Sure, there is alot going on in the world. There are possible nuclear meltdowns in Japan, major earthquakes, tsunamis, widespread devastation, a new war in Libya, an old war … Continue reading

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Local News Update

Local News update: Cliff Mazer, Ph.D., a resident of Sandy Springs has apparently switched from his usual breakfast fare to an “Australian style” yogurt. The product, Wallaby’s low fat yogurt comes in various fruit flavors and is produced in Napa … Continue reading

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Captain Cliff rants on: Charlie Sheen’s kitchen and what if

What If     What if Charlie Sheen isn’t really that crazy?….Yes, I am talking about Charlie Sheen the motor mouthed purveyor of tiger blood and warlock fangs, the Twitter King, Master of the manic spiel, owner of Sober Valley … Continue reading

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Captain Cliff rant

Captcliff rant: It’s not enough that I am now thinking of taking an Iodine pill along with my multi-vitamins in the morning to ward off nuclear contamination (thank you Sanjay Gupta)? Also, on top of my vertigo and balance problems … Continue reading

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