Author Archives: captaincliff

From bird penises (in a previous blog) to people with bird brains, the News of the Weird gets only weirder. Let me break it down: a girl who looks like a guy in drag who also pretends to be a plastic surgeon injects silicone into the penis of a male customer who hopes to be “enlarged” by the experience. He does this at the guys house in New Jersey, I guess for the sake of convenience and to avoid having to take public transportation. Paging Conrad Murray, M.D. ??   Instead of ending up with a bigger “package”, the patient, aka “dumbshit” ends up dead, special delivery to the county morgue thanks to the silicone causing a fatal embolism. The pseudo surgeon, who also looks like a cross between a crack addict and a hooker is arrested. The victim, Justin Street, age 22 will be remembered for his……………….. absolute stupidity.  Again, we must use the news to teach us important life lessons and to avoid repeating similar mistakes ourselves….yeah, right.  Here’s the most obvious: 1) dont go cheap with the plastic surgery, especially in New Jersey. 2) if you have to believe in a rip-off penis enlarging scam, stick to ones that wont probably kill you, like say a combination Swedish vacuum pump/ penis enlarger (see Austin Powers for details). 3) Even if your last name is Street, dont expect people to name anything after you once you do something really really stupid. You may, however, make it onto cable TV’s “1000 Ways to Die” show. 4) To the fake doctor who will hopefully end up in jail, dont give up hope of ever having a career and/or relationship in prison. Not only are there a broad array of correspondence courses in the pen, but if Joran Van der Sloot can get a gf who happens to be a nutjob doctor, you too could find a lunatic to love you someday.   Arggh!