Author Archives: captaincliff

Unknown's avatar

About captaincliff

Psychologist by day, insomniac Pirate blogger by night, this Child of God likes to share sarcastic social commentary as well as topsy-turvy observations about life, love and the pursuit of zaniness, a functional form of insanity in an increasingly insane world

CaptCliff’s Annoying Morning: Why The Bleep Am I Up??

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Who was it who said if you wake up at 4:23 AM, it means you are supposed to “use” that time wisely and productively? Oh yeah, it was…..Wayne Dyer. He said this early awakening is “sacred spirit time” and space … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Capt Cliff’s Cliff Notes on Dolphin Lover Book

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Capt Cliff’s Cliff Notes on Dolphin Lover Book

 

 

Ok, time for a major reality check. I have written extensively about recent news articles detailing men who loved horses a bit too much. Yep, I said horses or horsies, not ho’s or horticulture. Now we see a new book, “Wet Goddess” about a man who fell in love with a 400 pound female dolphin and regularly consummated his beyond PETA love affair……I repeat, with a dolphin. As a certified sex therapist, well aware of Alfred Kinsey’s research on the prevalence of bestiality (farm living predictably has the highest “window of opportunity” for such May-December romances) I am not that surprised. What is more surprising is how supportive the younger generations are of sex between….absolutely anything.

 

It seems Star Trek, Star Wars, Planet of the Apes, Dragon Con, the Furry Movement, Avatar, and maybe a Twilight Zone episode I cant quite remember have taken things well beyond the Baby Boomers meek struggle in support of equality and interracial relationships, (ie. beyond differences like someone who is Reform Jewish hooking up with someone who is Modern Orthodox?) and spinning off into an intergalactic hodgepodge of socially and anthropologically acceptable liaisons. The author of the book claims his human girlfriends were aware of his tryst with Flipper and were totally cool about it…..hmmm. I am beginning to feel like a prude for like the first time in my life. For one thing, how do we know that the cetacean partner was saying “yes, yes, yes” and not “get off me you freak”…. by her eyes, her squeaks, or just her echo locating sonar?? Maybe I should think this through before blogging away like a marine mammal church lady. I’m just sayin’, if he was Jewish, how do you tell your mother you are in love with a goyische shiksa who not only EATS shellfish but IS pretty much shellfish….so to speak???

Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Casey’s Diary

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Dear Diary, Well its all set up. I’m going to Mexico to live on the beach and be a Mexicana chick!! The old fart who wrote me in jail sent me the 200k he promised me. I would say thats … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Cliff Mazer….The Man, The Mystique, The Constipated and the Mentally Challenged

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Ok, I’ve got the working title but not yet the full description of my self-promotion campaign and global marketing blitz. What does Facebook mean by the sub-title “Notes About Me”???  Is this like a eulogy in advance? The beauty of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

CaptCliff is Sick as a Dog Blog

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

What if I told you I have been sick for a couple days and I am getting bored to tears with my own hacking, wheezing, lying in a prone position, checking my emails for non-existent fan mail, checking my Facebook … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

CaptCliff Initiates FUN (Fucked Up News) Blog

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

  I’m sorry for cussing but some news stories just beg the question, “How is this even fucking possible??” Check this out:  http://www.wftv.com/news/28978780/detail.html?cxntlid=cmg_cntnt_rss   Ok, do you see what I mean? How do two (as opposed to just one) moving … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Planet of the Apes: Hey Hey We’re the Monkeys!

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

The London Riots: How do we explain them? Alienation meets opportunity?  Young nihilistic ragers bearing Blackberries beget and become uber-greedy and hyper-materialistic? How about mass psychology and peer pressure?  Is it more an expression of Clockwork Orange 2011 or Planet … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Casey’s Diary: Return to Orlando (cont)

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

8/1/11  Casey Diary: Return to Orlando (cont) :   Dear Diary, OMG, I’m so sick of everybody! After getting back home from Abbatabad and rinsing off all the goat stink, I havent had one minutes peace to myself!  Jose gave me … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

CaptCliff Schedules a Colonic

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Disclaimer: This news update is NOT for the squeamish.   Reunion Update:  In addition to my intensive and much belated exercise regime, I just scheduled a session of “colonic therapy” for myself. The name of the place is “Sacred Waters”.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

CaptCliff Issues Stern Warning to Young People

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Just received this offer by email: “Engage and capture your community in this powerful, configurable and extensible conversation platform. Enable users to log in and share with their choice of social network and/or your own proprietary login. Traffic,Trending,Spam and bad … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment