Local News Update

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Local News update: Cliff Mazer, Ph.D., a resident of Sandy Springs has apparently switched from his usual breakfast fare to an “Australian style” yogurt. The product, Wallaby’s low fat yogurt comes in various fruit flavors and is produced in Napa Valley California. There is however a picture of a kangaroo on the container, thus making it more Australian to the average idiot American. Meanwhile nuclear reactors in Japan continue to melt down to their cores. Thousands are dead and missing. The Prime Minister spoke on television in an attempt to calm the general populace. Surrounded by a unnatural greenish hue that appeared to pulsate visibly when he was outright lying , the leader repeatedly expressed his belief that radiation levels at the damaged plants were still in no way hazardous.

 

 

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Captain Cliff rants on: Charlie Sheen’s kitchen and what if

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

What If

 

 

What if Charlie Sheen isn’t really that crazy?….Yes, I am talking about Charlie Sheen the motor mouthed purveyor of tiger blood and warlock fangs, the Twitter King, Master of the manic spiel, owner of Sober Valley Ranch and the two goddesses/no cup (of alcohol) Beverly Hills household, and originator of the “I dare u to give me a urine test” drug rehab challenge… Furthermore, what if deep down, under the media fueled bonfire of his vanities he is just a talented actor and a basically decent, albeit flawed human being, or maybe even just a rich and famous individual who is under considerable stress and strain? To put it another way, what if some small fraction of his self destructive, addict/poet rantings and plus size personality disorder observations have a certain amount of merit (for him), a basis in reality, maybe even a smidgen of “truth”? For that matter, perhaps its not any of our damn business.

 

Sure, everybody can pretty much agree that Charlie Sheen is now imploding like a dwarf sun under the pressure of his own cosmically inflated self-image, lack of any repeated or restful sleep, and a not exactly totally paranoid belief that everyone ( ie., his ex wife, her lawyer, ex boss, his lawyer, and every other affiliated news network, legal team, psychiatric unit, rehab organization, witches coven, and disgruntled cast member from his last sitcom) is out to get him and take his money, his job, his kids, his fame and possibly his scalp. I mean, dont you think paranoid is probably what Saddam Hussein felt like when he found out that George Bush and the United States had decided to blame him for everything wrong on the planet and thought it might be a great idea to go on a holy crusade(get revenge) by bombing the crap out of his capital city and hunting him down like a rabid dog??? I cant say the same for certain other notorious personalities like Muammar Ghadaffi , especially given the fact that Ghadaffi clearly does appear to be out of his mind, as well as very badly in need of a new wardrobe. Ghadaffi makes Javier Bardem from No Country for Old Men look like a reasonably nice guy who just happens to be a homicidal maniac (say more like John Cusack in Gross Point Blank). I mean, it would take an awful lot of money, like several gazillion bucks, and a super sized pile of “uber” self-confidence to be in Charlie Sheen’s shoes and NOT feel the mounting pressure of his own self promotion blitzkrieg, particularly as it applies to the one of a kind product he is hawking… himself and presumably the mind altering drug called Charlie Sheen. I’ll tell you one thing, from the looks of Charlie lately, it seems safe to assume that this particular drug does not cause unwanted weight gain like so many of the other magical cures and pharmaceutical treatments out there. However, with all the media’s pointless debate, inane panel discussions and tabloid worthy “discourse” occurring (among what must be an exceptionally fertile breeding colony of talking heads with JDs, MD’s, Ph.D.’s after their names) the blather seems inordinately small-minded and even cruel, like whether or not Sheen is certifiably insane, suicidal, a psycho,homicidal, dry drunk alcoholic, crack junkie and to what degree he is just “crazy as a loonbird”. The 24/7 feeding frenzy about Sheen strays slightly into science only to consider what multi-axial diagnostic category and DSM diagnosis he best fits in, ie. bipolar, Narcissistic personality disorder, addict withdrawal syndrome, or even paranoid schizophrenia, etc.

 

If anything, Charlie Sheen could probably already land a job and a big paycheck starring in a cable TV reality show called, Name that Diagnosis in which guest shrinks come on the show to try to nail down his exact medical and mental illness. It could be just like Top Chef, but with promising young Psychiatry residents as contestants. All earnest young head doctors with impeccable academic backgrounds, but still relatively untested clinicians under fire in the combat like pressure- cooker environment of live television. I realize Dr. Laura and Phil McGraw have already been doing this for many network programming seasons, but they had the benefit of years of showbiz experience to hone their diagnostic chops and create their self- inflated personas as nationally recognized professional therapists who are never wrong and infrequently listen to their clients. Ok, so u still may wonder what the point of this psychologist’s ramble is. it’s just this. Why do we presume to know anything about anybody we dont know well on a personal basis and, why do we think its productive or even nice to publicly dissect the personality and psyche of someone who is obviously under exceptional life stress? In addition, why in good conscience would we ever consider the opinions of television commentators, internet bloggers or even TV network news personalities who are paid to boost ratings and increase website traffic by providing lurid over sensationalized entertainment? Let me put it into perspective. Somewhere,right now, there are people twittering their thumbs off, feverishly downloading Sheen videos, and reporting breathlessly about the latest wheel to fall off Charlie’s mental status bus, while at the very same time there is the distinct possibility of multiple nuclear reactor meltdowns in Japan. Thousands are dead, missing, and homeless. Too far away to worry about? Closer to home, in our own neighborhood, people are struggling to pay their bills, desperate to find jobs, and trying to recover from a life threatening illness or cancer surgery. How sane is that?? Maybe we should all consider taking in a cleansing breath, channeling the Dalai Lama and cutting Charlie Sheen some compassion slack. Not only are there bigger global fish to fry but there are undoubtably more urgent concerns at hand for the human race. Personally I am more concerned about the possible meltdown in Japan than the one that may or may not be taking place in Charlie Sheen’s kitchen.

 
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Captain Cliff rant

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Captcliff rant: It’s not enough that I am now thinking of taking an Iodine pill along with my multi-vitamins in the morning to ward off nuclear contamination (thank you Sanjay Gupta)? Also, on top of my vertigo and balance problems I just heard the Earth may have shifted off its axis due to the earthquake and subsequent tsunami in Japan. Greeeaaaat……..so now I have to compensate not only for the broken gyroscope in my head but also for the fact that the entire planet is spinning out of control like a lopsided dreidel. These are not exactly the “good times” they sang about in the theme song from the old TV sitcom by the same name….ie, “Keepin’ your head above water, making a wave when you can…good times!” The only people that seem happy about the way things are going are the Christian Fundamentalist apocalyptic nut jobs and Ralph Nader. Even Charlie Sheen is pissed about it because the Twitter servers are down in East Asia and Ghadaffi is blocking You Tube traffic in and out of Tripoli and Bengazi. Nobody there gets to see him waving a machete or imploding like a dwarf sun. I swear this is a real announcement I found online, Tokyo: “Twitter engineers expect “a rocky few weeks”…..Anyway,I dont mean to sound all pessimistic…..Fine, ok, alright, time for my medicine……

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On Passover, Chametz and Castle Grayskull

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

In one months time it is Passover, a time of year that promotes family unity as well as personal reflection. The act of removing Chametz from the home is not just a physical act of removing leavened food products but also a symbolic gesture for cleansing the self of unwanted traits and character flaws, including selfishness, material greed and gluttony. Kind of ironic considering how much I usually end up eating at the Seder table. Let’s just say the dried fruit compote normally served as a kosher dessert is also used as a necessary detonator for cleansing my intestines and freeing me from the bondage of my bloated condition.

In the spirit of personal reflection and preparing oneself for Pesach I offer the following. Once upon a time, when my kids were young, my middle son said to me, “Dad, if I could just have a Castle Grayskull toy for Hannukah, I would never want anything else for the rest of my life!” Yeah, right…I said the same thing to my mother in 1961 about a chocolate malt flavored breakfast drink called Ovaltine which I kept seeing advertised on TV. Somehow I associated Ovaltine to eternal happiness, supernatural strength and a cool decoder ring hidden inside. My mom loves to repeat the story that when I finally got to taste Ovaltine my face scrunched up in revulsion and I nearly spat it out while pronouncing, “That’s Ovaltine??!”   The point is that alot of times we really think we need something and want it so badly, only to find out later it wasnt as essential to human life as we first believed.

Fast forward to today. I notice at age 58, a mere half century since the aforementioned “Ovaltine incident”, that there are still things I think I cant live without. As an empty nester my house is like a quasi-museum of stuff from the past. Watching Hoarders on cable television is an ironic experience as I look around and see the boys bedrooms still decorated with their kid sized baseball gloves and hats, wrestling medals, stamp collections, and art projects. Another layer down in the archeological dig are their old toys from early childhood including action figures, legos, and the plastic parts to a thousand “must have” items. Pixar’s Toy Story lives on in my Sandy Springs home, only Woody has gone mute, the Ninja Turtles dont banter back and forth anymore, and  Star Wars spaceships no longer lift off either by hand or through the power of a child’s imagination. Glances in several different directions reveal the many things I was temporarily enamored with like a non working hot tub in my driveway, a pocket fisherman still in its box, and about 10,000 non essential tools and garage sale finds in my basement. I guess I didnt need them as badly as I thought I did.  As time progresses we begin to appreciate what we really need and what is really important, and very little of it is material in nature.

I freely admit that crackers and starchy foods may be the last bastion of my “gotta have it” complex. My mind still resists this particular domain of psycho-spiritual housecleaning and getting rid of the chametz is always an interesting exercise in inner conflict. My mind plays tricks on me still. The closer it gets to Passover the MORE I want to eat bread, bagels and beer. Have you ever bought a beautiful Challah on Friday knowing FULL WELL there is nobody coming over for Shabbos and instead you are really fantasizing about tearing it to shreds and consuming it all alone like a starving wild animal?  Is it only me who goes to Big Lots in March and fills the cart with crackers from around the globe because it’s good to have a pantry full of gourmet treats for visiting dignitaries and foreign diplomats? Sure, I dont know anybody that fits that particular description today…but I might tomorrow. I also know it just feels like I should have a dozen everything on it bagels, garlic and butter croutons and sesame Melba Toast available to go with the Costco Ceasar salads and tub of whitefish on St. Patrick’s Day Sunday morning’s brunch menu. Finally, I know it is only a Jedi mind trick of my “inner glutton” that tries to convince me that Entenmann’s pound cake is a viable food group as important as leafy green vegetables and fresh fruit. Normally I attempt to quell my Yetzer Hora and remind myself that the Ovaltine was horrid and the decoder ring broke in less then an hour. Still, the Castle Grayskull was pretty darn cool. I used to play with it when my kids werent around and still would today if I could find it in my basement amid the clutter. Maybe I need to finally get off my tush and clean out not just the Chametz but the whole kit and caboodle. Now that would be real change and the kind of clean slate that both Hashem and my grown up kids would probably approve of.

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CaptCliff on Roasting Rush Limbaugh

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

If I had Twitter, which I dont, I would probably twit this: Getting sick of the Rush Limbaugh vitriole. Cant we just dismember him, roast his fat ass and get it over with? I have dibs on a juicy thigh-drumstick.  

 

In actuality I feel conflicted about the whole thing. I really despise the man. He makes me sick and that was long before he waddled over the last boundary line and called someone a slut and a prostitute. Sure, that was despicable but no worse than anything I called my ex-wife during our costly (to me) divorce. She called me worse and in retrospect may have been at least partially right. The point is that many of us go over the line from time to time and we, as human beings with a conscience ought to feel bad about it. Limbaugh, on the other hand, seems pathetic in his non-apologies and his pitiful attempts to appease his sponsors and quiet the thousands of angry villagers with pitch forks pounding at his castle gates. Social media once again has proven its utility as an efficient vehicle for organizing lynch mobs, Occupy protesters and flash mobs ready to either dance in an airport lobby or steal donuts from a 7-11.

 

All that aside what bothers me the most? My inner response of near glee and self satisfaction at watching Rush sweat and squirm disturbs me as did my initial response to finding out that Andrew Breitbart had keeled over and died during his evening walk after kissing his kids goodnight. I honestly thought to myself, “Good riddance you pathetic reactionary bastard!” I even imagined myself doing some kind of immature happy dance around his grave while his family mourned! How is it that someone who describes himself as a liberal Jew with Buddhist leanings and an inexplicable thing for pirates can revert so easily into just another Lord of the Flies character with a sharpened stick when someone he hates is vanquished or in the case of Rush is given a taste of the nasty medicine he dishes out every day? He claims he is only utilizing “absurdity” to bring clarity to the masses who are hypnotized by the mainstream media. What’s my excuse? I dont have one really, except I suspect we all have a little “Rush” and “Andy” in us, just as deep inside Dick Cheney there is may be some Dalai Lama. It’s just buried kind of deep under layers of fat, nylon mesh and Neocon drivel. I suspect if they gutted the ex Vice President , like they do a shark after some poor surfer disappears off the Florida coast, they would find bits of shoe leather, license plates, a severed limb or two and a modicum of humanity. None of us are all bad, just as none of us are all good and that’s why there is only one Dalai Lama walking around smiling all the time. If there were two supreme enlightened beings they would probably get into a fistfight or vehemently disagree on one or two of the eight noble truths. I always wondered how calm and consistently grounded the Lama or even Jesus Christ would be if they were married and had a couple of small kids with ADHD and bronchitis. Even they might have said a few over the top things or like me might have lost their shit in divorce court and flipped out like Jack Nicolson in A Few Good Men, ie. “You cant handle the truth!!” I also regret saying under oath how much I hated all lawyers including my own……I guess I should just keep working on myself and leave the old, bloated, racist Republicans alone. I dont want them doing a post mortem on me someday and finding out I was missing a human heart.

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Dr. Cliff about the Latest School Shooting

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Another horrible and unnecessary school shooting today. It doesnt take a CSI team or FBI profiler to figure out which way the alleged shooter T.J. Lane, was headed in life. Look up his Facebook profile. He has a sister. He looks glum and detached. He likes to play Assassins’ Creed , a violent videogame that is advertised as “For True Professional Assassins” and is into “cats and Anime”….

 

Liking cats isn’t so bad, but he also claims to be “inspired” by David Icke, a conspiracy theory nut who believes that lizard-like aliens haunt us daily. His favorite movies are the Fight Club, Let Me In, and The Others, movies all describing dark depressive environments of violence, horror, frustration and detachment. In “The Others”, a boy and his sister live in a ghostly world cut off from other people, and turn out to be actually dead already. In “Let Me In”, a quasi-vampire movie the plot is even more telling as a boy is bullied relentlessly and plots his violent revenge. The Facebook essay that TJ wrote on his FB wall is consistent with the other main characters just described. They are social loners who seeks to turn the tables violently on those who live in safe “castles”.Only four people “liked” his FB post written while in school, one of which was his sister. Ok, I have a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology but I dont think it’s necessary to have that much higher education to recognize that this person was emotionally troubled and very much in need of professional help. Some might even look more closely and describe it as a “cry for help.” Our society, however, often fails to provide this recognition or support and allows vulnerable and potentially violent individuals to simmer for many years until they finally boil over. In a way that too is criminal and it is our culture that is squarely to blame.

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CaptCliff’s Trip Advisor Restaurant Review: Canton Cooks

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Normally CaptCliff’s restaurant reviews are brutally honest and dark, often skewering lesser food establishments for their faddishness, their inconsistency and especially their overall tendency toward providing too little for too much. I’m generally looking for a good value, not a culinary masterpiece of molecular gastronomy balanced on a half grape. To break this pattern of negativity I offer this glowing review. Canton Cooks has been around for, well, forever. It reminds me of a place called Chin’s Chop Suey in Glencoe, Illinois where I grew up as a kid, only bigger. Every time I get divorced and or my kids graduate from one school or another, or just on any random Sunday if you ask most people, “where do you want to go for Chinese?”, the answer is Canton Cooks. Sure it seems the owners family has broken up into competing factions of self-replicating Chinese restaurants from China Cooks to Canton Cooks2 all located a short distance apart. I cant even remember who runs which place and if they are friend or foe at this point. All I care about is good taste and where I’m probably going to take 8 famished people after the High Holidays and on X-mas day. This is where the line moves the fastest, where the owners remember me no matter who I’m with, and where they make the best Beef Chow Fun and Hong Kong Style Crispy noodles, Seafood (no squid please)…… There is something comforting, ineffable and consistently authentic about the menu, the place and the food which is further reflected in the servers wry smiles and laid back professionalism. I get a kick out of the fact that as I age, they do too, but still keep bringing me the good Cantonese stuff. Whether I dine in or demand a big round table for 10 there is going to be a predictably good meal with excellent leftovers. It’s sort of the Jewish-Chinese version of The Help. We have some kind of spiritual and olfactory bond between us, which, on a short ride home with a cardboard box full of takeout is like a Southern gentleman shlepping home a Pecan pie and fresh batch of fried chicken with biscuits and gravy. I realize we are both gonna gain weight from the collective caloric overload involved, but at least we’ll fall asleep with a fat-happy smile on our Baby Boomer faces. PS If you dine-in be sure to shave first because you’re going to see your accountant, your rabbi, your former neighbors, and the divorce lawyer who beat you to a pulp 15 years ago. Dont worry, everyone will say hi, even the lawyer.

 
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CaptCliff on: Breaking News in Zimbabwe

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

CaptCliff on: Breaking News in Zimbabwe

We all know how well social media and the Internet keep us abreast of the news. Cellphone ads make fun of how even a 30 second delay in information can leave us hopelessly behind. That is why I am so grateful for the kind of breaking news that I can wake up to online as I drink my morning cup of coffee. Why even attempt to put on my bedroom slippers and shuffle out to the driveway to get the snail mail newspaper? By the time I unwrap the paper from its irritating plastic bag It will be old news anyway, maybe even 24 hours behind the times. This morning I got caught up on the most significant stories on AOL and Yahoo including the 911 call from the Seinfield actor who shot himself in the head and perhaps even more important, the elderly guy in Zimbabwe who got his testicles torn off on his way to work when he crossed a crocodile infested river. I am impressed by the global reach  of these news outlets and appreciate the fact that my own testicles are still intact and undisturbed by giant crocodiles. Talk about a dangerous commute…….I realize some cynics would harp about the sensational nature of news coverage online, each attempting to one up each other in salacious details and TMZ like celebrity obsession. However, Jonah, the elderly eunuch in Zambabwe was by no means a celebrity when he encountered the manhood eating amphibian. Well, at least he wasn’t 5 minutes ago….. I heard he may have a book deal in the works now and Pixar is in negotiations for a 3D movie. Studio exes are throwing around a working title for Jonah’s not so excellent adventure. I suggest either, “Ball-e” or “The Scrotum King”. Morgan Freeman may or may not be interested in the role but I will bet he is going to insist on a stunt double for this blockbuster.

 
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CaptCliff Reviews the Crown Plaza Ravinia Hotel

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

Flashback or Flash Mob…You Decide

 

 

Is it possible to trigger a small seizure or an acid flashback merely by virtue of an impossible to comprehend “mix” of hotel guests? As a licensed psychologist, the closest theory I know of to explain such a phenomena, even if it is meant metaphorically is “cognitive dissonance”. In layman’s terms, “dissonance” is sensory input that is so conflicting and contradictory that it makes a person either shut down, freak out or unconsciously choose one and blot out the rest. In the case of the Crown Plaza Ravinia, my attempts at a combined birthday present and Valentines Day date began moderately well, due to an unusually nice front desk manager who knew to acknowledge my quasi-legitimate travel agent credentials with a wink, a nice double queen room and two free drinks at the lobby bar. Sweet… especially for a middle aged couple who tend to engage in dueling snoring contests all nite. Where’s the dissonnace you ask? Wait, I’m not there yet.

 

 

The hotel rooms are decent, the bedding so-so, the extras like microwaves, mini-fridges and fluffy robes non-existent, at least not in our accomodations. Ok, so it’s not the Ritz Carlton. Good news: The parking is free and about as cavernous as the underground Economy lot at Hartsfield airport. Where are all the people who parked all these cars way down here? Have I mysteriously stumbled upon the Fuhrer Bunker or the main fallout shelter from the movie Deep Impact? The answer is they are all alive and well and mingling in the hotel lobby. The demographics at the Crown Plaza nearly defy description. Can you imagine a large convention of National Guardsmen, a wedding, a bar mitzvah, and a swarm of glitter adorned competition bound preteen cheerleaders (and their perky soccer-like moms) all in one place under the hotel’s wood beamed and glass enclosed ceiling? I wasn’t the only one thrown off by this dizzying mix of architecture and humanity. The hotel’s caged lovebirds, Romeo and Juliet (midway down the stairs) seemed similarly overwhelmed and clung to each other like…well, lovebirds. Bad news: I forgot my special pillow, the one that is neither flat as a pancake or blown up like an air mattress like the ones the hotel normally provides. The hotel also does not provide free sleeping pills or prescription pain killers to make up for the neck ache or the migraine caused by the pillows and/or cheerleaders the following day. The hotel tries hard but the veneer of quality service is almost as thin as the walls between rooms. The in-room internet and the hot water remained sporadic at best. There are some cool trails to follow out back that all lead to corporate cul de sacs and business people on iPhones. The swimming pool was full of somebody elses kids. It was a birthday party and I believe they may have drowned the party planner, or maybe it was a pinata……Still, I will return someday, but it will probably be for the well received, nicely adorned Italian restaurant, La Grotta, and not for the vertigo inducing hotel and it’s eclectic clientele, no matter how limber they may be.

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CaptCliff On Love, Forgiveness, and Ho’oponopono

Posted on March 8, 2012 by captaincliff

What if love and forgiveness really IS the answer? I know thats alot easier to say than to do, but its at least conceivable. However, what if we are also 100% responsible for the entire universe we have created which includes everything and everybody we ever heard of? I can already easily admit to having a boatload of personal shortcomings. I think I am the King of Resentment and Permanently Held Grudges. I often live in the Land of Blame and Shame. On the other hand, I try to practice having a balanced perspective and giving other people a chance, even if I dont agree with them. Still, I  find it hard to believe I created and am in ANY way responsible for Karl Rove and Charles Manson. I would rather take credit for having invented Raquel Welch and Megan Fox.

 

Recently I read more about a healing approach called Ho’oponopono. Actually, in the past I was somewhat familiar with Ho’oponopono as a community based healing ceremony used by the native Hawaiian culture. It was, as I remembered it, all about everyone taking responsibility for some “wrong” that was committed and together sharing the ownership of the solution. All that made sense to me intuitively, the idea being instead of polarizing and blaming one person for a problem (which just generates more anger and denial) jointly accepting responsibility with a spirit of love which then promotes forgiveness and healing. No problem. However, there are some practitioners of Hawaiian healing that take this idea even further to suggest one needs to ALWAYS start healing with themselves , no matter if the problem is Iran’s nuclear ambitions, somebody’s kid getting run over by a drunk driver, or my favorite private reserve of ruminations about my family, former friends and past relationship partners who have mistreated me and/or “done me wrong” (insert appropriate country western tune here). Forget Iran, I cant even fathom how I caused my first girlfriend at age 17 to run off with my best friend on our joint family beach vacation. Well, actually, to be totally honest I can SOMEWHAT imagine how that happened because I wasn’t exactly the most loving or sympathetic boyfriend on Planet Earth, or I guess Planet Cliff, if this Hawaiian dude is to be believed.

Dammit, I hate seeing my part in things!! It sucks the Victim/Country Song/anger and blame energy right out of me!! Anyway, maybe you get the idea now.

 

The sticky part of this Quantum exercise is going to be the self forgiveness stuff. I know some people will perhaps not believe me since I have postured myself, ye good olde CaptCliff, as this sarcastic know-it-all (can you spell Narcissistic Personality Disorder?) who is absolutely flummoxed by the worlds stupidity and the endless ways humanity has found to screw up  (see the Challenger Accident, Vietnam, Richard Nixon, et. al….ad infinitum). I talk about how much I hate Joran Vandersloot and what a dumb loony chick like Dr. Mary Hamer is for wanting to be his “spiritual guide”. I get off on making fun of others for their cardinal sins but I honestly also feel alot of shame, blame and embarrassment about my shortcomings and personal failures. I guess I pitch alot of rocks at glass houses (both mine and others) and then tell people not to do that…..lol? According to my “Cliff Notes” for this Hawaiian healing method ( quickly reading Wikipedia and speed watching You Tube videos on the subject) the central meditation of Ho’oponopono ( just how impossible is that to say let alone type correctly??) is : 1) I’m sorry 2) Please forgive me 3) I love you 4) Thank You.

 

 

   I know…it seems way too easy….at least to say. Again, I tried it on myself this morning and I got to about the second word “sorry” and began to have a sudden and inexplicable urge to eat a massive, possibly fatal dose of strawberry pop-tarts and fried chicken. See, there I go again, using my self deprecating humor to deflect from the greater truth, which is that it is hard to forgive myself. Ok, I said it…and know I will need to work on it..over time. The universe, my universe, and even Karl Rove depends on it. Of course a trip to Hawaii and a big plate of teriyaki beef with two scoops rice and gravy while sitting on the beach in the sun and drinking a Mai Tai sounds like an excellent way to symbolically “incorporate” the full healing experience. Forget the Strawberry Pop Tarts, even tho I guess I did technically invent them too in this, my big beautiful universe……….

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